Racing thoughts and my fingers lag behind them
Hover over my keyboard not moving fast enough
Bad habit compilation bitten nails and brittle hair
And smoker’s cough
I don’t have a good excuse for all my failures
But between courage and anxiety
Anxiety has always won
And it moves beneath my skin and crawls and slithers
Dancing snakes around my neck forming a knot
And I might not make sense to those
Who are sunlight kissed and sugar-spun
Because my words are made of something bitter
But what better explanation can I give
Than blackness only blackness
Burrowed deep within my soul?
He pushes her down
Onto the floor
Says "I want you
And nothing more"
His tender smile's gone
And she's pleading
She's crying
She's scratching his neck
And she's saying
"You were my friend
So if you leave I'll forget"
His voice is reassuring
As he pins her down
And his hot whispered breaths
Tell her this is her fault
"Look at the monster
You've made me become
-my only redemption is
the depth of my love
So let me love you
In this sick, twisted way
And defile the same idols
That have led me astray"
And he does
And the bruises he leaves
Stain under her skin
And she blames herself
For his sin
For a long time
But not anymore
His hands are shaking, I don’t care that much…
I’m trying to focus on his voice but I’ve lost touch
With my reality
Is my face arranged like it’s supposed to be?
I don’t think I’ll say the right thing though there’s not
A right thing to be said
My mouth opens, I widen up my eyes,
The words that flow right after feel just like lies
It must be hard, but I accept you, and the darkness
That you carry deep inside
He seems placated, I am scared
My heart is steady in my chest
My tongue is lead-like and my brain
Is stuck five sentences behind, analyzing
What’s deep within my mind
I’m very
It’s like I’ve been holding my breath ever since I was fifteen
-I’ve been suspended in the spaces between-
The silent separation of words and sentences and more
Growing up, I always looked at the last pages of a book first
Because I needed my happy-ending fix, my reassurance
My ever-after to ease the pain of the unknown
At twenty, I know better- this book doesn’t have a good ending
And, well, I’ve read it, but I’m just so tired of pretending I’m alright
With this halting narration and meaningless plot.
I want more.
Only more.
I don’t know what Grim looks like- I’ve never seen his face.
His voice is always muffled, and there’s something forgettable about his bizarreness. It’s as if...his appearance is so shocking your brain just refutes it as soon as he’s out of sight.
“Alone in the park again, Mary? Isn’t that a bit strange?”
The sombre, clear voice startles me. I stop doodling on my notebook and lift my gaze up.
“Wait, you’re calling me strange? Do you even realize how fucked up that is?” Grim takes a seat besides me on the bench, removing his black top hat and placing it on the floor. His platin
Homeless Man at an Intersection by Huks905, literature
Literature
Homeless Man at an Intersection
Today, I saw a homeless man at an intersection.
He was old, dirty, crooked-looking as he balanced himself on some crutches. His limbs were heavy underneath layers of worn-out clothing- tattered sweaters, and a bright blue jacket dulled out by dark stains.
His skin was leathery, and his hair was a muted brown.
He had very dark eyes.
I think he might have been around fifty years old, but who knows? I’ve heard the streets can weather you down and age you up.
I stood in the crowd, waiting for the lights to change so I could cross the street.
The man stopped his awkward advance right before reaching the sidewalk.
I’m not exactly s
His lips are pink and bright against the pallor of his face. The corners of his mouth curl upwards, slightly, in a smirk.
The dim lights above me do nothing to ease my anxiety; they cast eerie shadows across his face, sharpening its contours.
“Stop fidgeting”, he says quietly, so I have to lean forward in order to decipher his words.
His indigo eyes rest on the skin of my frantic hands, like bruises. I reach for my drink nervously and swallow as much alcohol as possible, hoping it will help me relax. The burning in my throat crawls downwards slowly, soothing me a little.
“Did you miss me?” That’s the first ques
As a child, I was enthralled by moths. The way they circled the light made me think of dancing angels.
I eventually managed to catch one, and in my curiosity, I decided to dissect it.
The blade of my knife slid gently over its abdomen, slicing it open.
Carefully, I removed its insides and after an hour of labor all that was left was a lovely carcass with feathered wings.
It wasn't until after it was done that I understood. Dead things are not beautiful. A moth's corpse cannot dance with fire.
Still, I kept the small insect inside a box until the wings turned brittle and crumbled into dust.
Ellie reminds me of it.
Everything about her is
I feel very strange.
Almost like I am two people at once.
I am present, of course, walking hurriedly. My calves ache, my breath feels awkward and halting, my hands are cold and rough. My skin is heavy over my body, almost like a mantle.
I am far away too, though. I am so far within myself that I see nothing, feel nothing. Only blurs of colour, and snippets of sensations. The grayish clouds remind me of my own skin- they make me ponder about how, perhaps, the city is suffocating underneath it. The thought unnerves me.
If the city is alive, then does that mean I am a cell? Or a parasite?
I glance around me, at the skeleton-buildings. The ar
The days are blurry. It is like watching the scenery pass by through a condensed window.
Blink once and an important detail is gone so fast, you won’t even know you missed it.
Except for the melancholy.
The melancholy reminds me that I’ve let something precious slip through my fingers.
But not anymore, I vow.
I glance around the bus, trying to capture every detail in my mind.
If I look hard enough, maybe I can force my life into focus.
But my resolve does not last more than just a few moments. Just until I see him. Then everything fades once more, receding into the monochrome background.
He has very dark hair, and very light